


i have loved the stars too fondly (to be fearful of the night)

by Dontfloatthe100



Category: The Pinkertons (TV)
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 16:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15392436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dontfloatthe100/pseuds/Dontfloatthe100
Summary: Kate sits vigil by Will's hospital bed and gets advice from an unlikely friend.





	i have loved the stars too fondly (to be fearful of the night)

**Author's Note:**

> Bet you'd thought you'd seen the last of me. I'm actually on vacation in Scotland rn so I figured I'd finish an old fic and post it for you guys. I have so many old fics saved up so hopefully I'll do more with them soon. Keep the tag alive guys. Love you.
> 
> Best,  
> Em

Kate sat by Will's hospital bed, watching his chest rise and fall shallowly. His shirt had been taken off by the doctor and his abdomen was wrapped in clean, white bandages. His eyes were closed, and he looked ages older than he had that morning. 

He was so... stupid. So damn stupid. What was he thinking, organizing a shoot out with a confederate sharpshooter? If Kate hadn't have screamed and startled him, Jesse's bullet might have gone right through Will's heart. Kate felt her blood run cold at the thought and she looked away, tears burning in her eyes. 

A few months ago, she wouldn't have reacted this way. During the war, she saw people die all the time, people she never really knew. Will hadn't mattered much to her at first. He was just a small stumbling block on her way back to Chicago, where the real crime was. But after everything they'd been through, she didn't think that way anymore. She couldn't. 

Will moved a little in his sleep and Kate perked up. He let out a ragged sigh and settled down again, and Kate took in a breath and let it out slowly. The doctor said he had a slim chance of making it through the night. 

Kate heard footsteps coming from behind her. She turned around quickly, pulling her gun from its holster and cocking it. 

"Woah there, it's just me," Annalee said, raising her hands in surrender. 

Kate let out a sigh of relief, her heart still beating quickly in her chest. She turned the safety back on and placed the gun back in its holster. 

"I'm sorry, I thought you were..."

"James, I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that," Annalee said. 

"It's alright. You have every right to be here. He's your friend, too," Kate said. She gestured to the chair next to her, the one Allan had occupied earlier that night, and the two women sat down next to each other. They sat and watched him for a long moment. 

"He's so... quiet. It's strange," Annalee said. 

"I was just thinking the same thing," Kate said.

"Do you think... do you think he'll be alright?" 

"I don't know. Doctor said it didn't look good," Kate admitted. 

"You should really get home, get some sleep," Annalee said, placing a hand on Kate's shoulder.

"I appreciate your concern, really, but Will needs me. I won't leave him," Kate said. 

Annalee smiled sadly. "You love him, don't you?" 

Kate turned to face her. "What?"

"You don't need to say anything. It's written all over your face," Annalee said.

Kate sighed. "Was it that obvious?" 

"You fancy yourself a secretive person, Kate, but it's easy enough it tell."

"What gave me away?" Kate asked softly, looking back at Will.

"I heard about what happened today. You rode all the way out there, knowing that James could very easily turn his gun on you next, just to save your partner. Not many people I know would do that. I know for a fact that McGillicuty wouldn't have done that for his partner."

"He would do the same for me," Kate said quietly.

"And that's how I know he loves you back," Annalee said. Kate looked over at her, brows furroughed.

Annalee took notice of her confused look. "Come on, Kate. You're a detective, don't tell me you haven't noticed, too."

Kate bit her lip, feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable. She wanted to stop talking about herself. "But-- but what about you? You love him, too. I know you do," Kate said. 

Annalee laughed. "He's fun, and he's a great kisser, it's true, but it wouldn't work out between us. I'm a free spirit, Kate. I never want to be tied down to one man, especially a man so in love with someone else. I know Will. If you told him how you felt, he would be settled for life. We're too different, him and I. We don't complement each other like you two do," Annalee said. 

"Have you even seen us? We bicker all the time. We're too different," Kate said.

"Not really. Not where it matters. You're both loyal, headstrong, compassionate. And your differences only make you better partners," Annalee said.

Kate fell silent for a moment, and then spoke up. "I'm sorry, Anna."

"For what, falling in love? Never ever be sorry for that. I might spread my love around a lot, but that don't mean that I don't believe in it, and I have never been the one to stand in the way of it. That ain't G-d's will, and it ain't mine," Annalee said, taking Kate's hand in her's and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"What should I do, Anna?" Kate asked.

"Tell him, as soon as he wakes up. Don't wait any longer than you have to. Ain't no use prolonging the inevitable. You love each other, and let's be honest, you've wasted enough time already," Annalee said.

"When did you become so wise?" Kate asked, smiling slightly.

"Always have been, you just never came to ask for my advice," Annalee chastised.

"I won't make that mistake again," Kate said.

"You better not," Annalee said, standing up. "It's getting late, or should I say early. I have to go and clean up at the bar."

"Of course," Kate said, standing as well.

Annalee gave her a hug, gripping the back of her dress tightly. "Remember, my door is always open," she whispered. 

"Of course," Kate replied, letting the other woman go. Annalee turned around and headed for the door and with one last look at Kate, exited the hospital. Kate sat back down and continued her vigil. She reached for Will's hand and took it in her own. She hoped that he would grip her hand, or make some indication that he knew what was going on, but his hand remained limp in her own.

"The doctor said you might be able to hear me, but I think he was just saying that to make me feel better," Kate said, running her thumb over the back of Will's hand. 

"If you can hear me, I guess you just heard everything that Annalee and I were just talking about, so I probably don't even need to have this conversation with you, but I..."

Kate trailed off, took a deep breath, and started again. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. This isn't like me. Today has been a weird day. Who would've thought I'd be getting relationship advice from Annalee of all people?" 

Kate took a deep breath. "Look, I'm not... good at this sort of thing. I'm not like you or Annalee, I can't just open myself up, become vulnerable like that. Half my life I've trained myself to become someone else, and not to let anyone know who I really was, how I really felt, so you can imagine how difficult this is for me." 

"So I need you to wake up, okay? I need you to wake up and tell me that you understand so I don't have to say that I--"

Kate cut herself off with a hiccup-like sob. She hasn't realized she was crying. She steeled herself and started again, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Please don't make me say it, Will. If Annalee is right and you do feel something for me, anything at all, don't make me say that I need you, okay? Don't make me say that I love--" Kate swallowed-- "that I love you."

Kate squeezed her eyes shut against the onslaught of tears, swallowing around the lump in her throat. 

"You just did," a hoarse voice croaked. 

Kate's eyes snapped open and she looked at Will. Will's eyes were open and he was smiling sleepily at her, his hand actively holding her's. Kate's free hand flew to her mouth and she gasped. 

"Will, are you alright? Does it hurt?" Kate asked frantically, eyeing him up and down.

"Kate, I'm fine, you worry too much," Will said. 

"You were shot today! You worry too little!"

"You love me for it," Will teased, and Kate felt her face heat up.

"How much did you hear?" Kate asked. 

"I woke up when Annalee came in," Will said. 

"So everything," Kate said.

"Yeah, everything."

An awkward silence settled over them, and Kate looked away. She needed a reaction, but she was afraid of what she would see if she looked over at him. 

"She was right, you know," Will said.

Kate looked back at him hopefully. "About what?"

"After you, everyone else is ruined for me. You're it," Will said, "No one else can compare."

Will lifted his hand to her face and cupped her cheek, running his thumb over her sharp cheekbone. Kate felt a tear slip from her eye and Will wipe it away.

"Hey, I'm okay," Will said. 

"I know, it's just-- you could've died today, and I never would've told you how much you mean to me," Kate said. She had made that mistake once, not being honest with people she loved before it was too late, and she had almost made it again.

"But I'm still here, Kate. You have the rest of our lives to tell me."

"You mean that?" Kate said. "You're not just doing this because you think you're going to die and you're trying to be nice?"

"I wouldn't do that to you," Will said fiercely. 

"You wouldn't be nice to me?" Kate teased.

"You know what I mean," Will said. 

"Yes, I do."

"We're going to be okay, Kate."

"How do you know?" Kate asked.

"Because I won't stand for anything different, and I know you won't either." 

Kate nodded in agreement. 

"Come on," Will said suddenly, gesturing to some space at his side. 

"What?"

"You need sleep, and I know you don't want to go home," Will said.

"If this is you trying to make a pass at me..."

"Kate, as much as I would like to, one day, I am in no capacity to. Just get up here," Will said, patting the space on the bed beside him.

Kate looked like she was going to say no, but then she reached down to undo the laces on her shoes and slipped them off. She climbed onto the bed next to him and carefully laid her head on his chest, making sure it didn't hurt. 

She looked up at him and he leaned down to kiss her forehead. Kate sighed and settled against him. She listened to his heart beat and found comfort in it's steadiness. They would be fine, it said, they would be okay. Kate drifted to sleep, repeating those words in her head like a prayer.


End file.
